Now. That just means I’m old.

As four different bones pop in my lower back from rising after ridiculing my parents for the Netflix account being inactive due to non payment… It was a joke. They have helped me so much lately with financial issues. I wanted to bring some levity to the situation. They just wanted me to hack into their Netflix account and fix it with the correct debit card. Yup.

I have a crush on a roller blading, beard sporting, hippie man traveling Europe. Yah, things have changed since college.

I now count the bones that pop and crush on men with the ability to travel the world, grow facial hair and simultaneously make me laugh till I can’t see.

Thanks Peepaw and Poopaw for not making me cry when I had the “due to non payment” issues. Thank you for teaching me how to put up with my brother that you help in the same way but definitely does not show his appreciation in the same way. Thank you for helping me understand that I was just like my sister at her age.

I was worse than her. Probably. If I was any better at 14 – I will rant about parenthood in a second – it was because of the community I was surrounded by.

The community that surrounds me now is no less perfect. These men have become role models for me. Role models I needed in my life. Sure, they’ve made poor decisions. But these former gang members, drug addicts and felons are more men to me then the tall, dreamy, overly muscular man that gives me back handed compliments. The men in my community are genuine, honest and treasure me. They have no idea how much they have changed my life.

Parenthood. You be crazy.

I’ll sustain from the rant on the “holier than thou” women that grace the pages of my news feed on a regular basis. (Starting to take a tally of wedding, engagement, baby, husband mentions… per day.) Let’s just talk about WTF you do when they turn 12. Hell, what do you do when your kid turns 25? You don’t think about those difficult discussions or heart wrenching moments when their two months old.

Have a kid. Learn how to get two hours of sleep a night and still be an awesome mom. Nothing will prepare you for 25 years from now when they need you to guide them spiritually, hand over expert financial advice and encourage them to leap for their ludicrous dreams. It’s not a kid you’re committing to. It’s a lifetime.

Thank you Anne. Thank you Bob. For sticking together and sticking with me.

I’m not anti-kids. And I’m on the path to convincing myself that I’m not anti-men/dating/boyfriend/husband. However, it’s going to take much more than an urge for cuddling while watching How I Met Your Mother and drinking a Shiner for me to legitimize the expense of a relationship with a high stakes man. They’re all high stakes.

K